Drinking and the “don’t let me…” game
Back when I was constantly stumbling around from one drunken encounter to the next, I used to regularly request people to not let me do things, as though control for my decisions lay outside myself in a place I couldn’t reach.
Just a few of my requests were:
- Don’t let me go to the pub after work
- Don’t let me stay out past 11
- Don’t let me mix my drinks
- Don’t let me drink pints
- Don’t let me drink wine
- Don’t let me get on it
Looking back, it’s clear how desperately I was trying to stick to self-imposed rules while simultaneously denying myself any power to do so. I thought others were better at keeping me in line than myself because I didn’t trust myself. I hadn’t yet grasped the truth that it’s down to us to build our reality. I also wasn’t ready to admit that the subtraction of alcohol would be the solution to many of my problems.
Ten months into this sober curious journey, I’m glad that I finally have faith in myself and feel good about the decisions I make. I’m also glad I know the wonders of not drinking and no longer feel the need to make arbitrary rules, break them, then beat myself it.
Did you ever play the “don’t let me…” game? Maybe you’re still playing? Please share below!